vernonvanderbilt's Xanga

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 08:16:32 GMT

So I'm working on a comic book. I've been trying to find the right medium for my Kayfabe project for a while now. I've run the gamut: novel, movie, television series, and now comics. I think I've made the right choice. The script for the first issue is almost done, so I'll be starting my search for the right artist very very soon.

The concept is simple on the surface: indy wrestler deals with wrestling politics and investigates the supernatural on his off-time. The first issue is titled "Wolf Party" and should be a fun jaunt. Is it werewolves? Or just an overactive imagination? You'll have to wait and see.

That's all, really. Just felt like sharing that.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 10:13:56 GMT

So I'm at work, zoning out (as per usual) when suddenly, out of nowhere, I got extremely angry. I don't know why. There was nothing that particularly pissed me off or anything. I'm chalking it up to another random mood swing. Still, it got me thinking...what are some of the things that make me angriest? Well, I'm going to talk about some of the people I hate. Why? Because it's my blog, bitches, and I want to!

1. Republicans - Obvious, really, but they do piss me off. The world would be a much better place if everyone on the right wing of the political spectrum just up and died. Preferably painfully and horrifically. They don't care how high the oil companies jack up prices, or how many times megastores exploit their workers, or how many gay kids commit suicide because of hate laws. Oh, but just try and raise the minimum wage or keep a nontraditional family alive with medical insurance and see how much of a fight they put up. I hope they all get terminal cancer of the ass.

2. Religious fundamentalists - Scratch that. Overly religious people in general piss me off. The way I see it, if you can look at the 2000+ year history of evil, hatred, and greed that xianity has perpetrated, and then CHOOSE to join up with those subhuman, self-flagellating, imperious fucks, you're not deserving of the life you've been granted. The Scandinavian death metallers have the right idea. Burn 'em. There are days when I wish the so-called "rapture" would just happen already. I'd love nothing more than to see the xians disappear altogether. Maybe then people could actually get a little peace. Fuck 'em.

3. Fair-weather friends / Fake friends - You know the type. They're the ones who will keep you around as long as you can serve some purpose for them. They're the ones who'll abandon you when the going gets tough, or when it becomes inconvenient for them to be your friend. They're the ones who'll hook up with a new significant other and then disappear from your life for weeks, months, or even years, only to come crawling back after the inevitable break-up. They're the ones who'll invite you to move in with them, then take all of your money and leave you at home, alone, showing up once a week or so. They'd rather spend every waking minute with their boyfriend in Michigan, see. But oh! The minute you hook up with somebody, not only don't they want to hear about it, they want to kick you out of the house two weeks before the move-out date on the lease. And to top it all off, they'll promise to use their much larger vehicle to help you move items that won't fit in your car, but then cancel at the last minute no less than three times. Then, when you finally tell them what you think aobut the way they've treated you, they want to cry and make you out to be the bad guy. Yeah. Fuck 'em.

4. Fags - Not gay people. Fags. There's a difference. A gay person is someone who wants to live their life openly and honestly. A fag would prefer staying in the closet and then going out to the clubs on weekends to drink, do drugs, and fuck other fags in the bathroom. A gay person wants a relationship with a kind, caring, loving person who accepts them for who they are, and vice versa. A fag wants a fuck-of-the-week, preferably someone anorexic and arrogant, and who won't care when they stop calling next week. A gay person wants to better the GLBT community. A fag wants to take, take, take, and fuck the community. A gay person is a gay person. A fag...well, a fag is a fag.

And last but not least....

5. Guys who drive Jeeps - They irritate the hell out of me. And no, I don't really know why.

There's your daily dose of vitriol! Thank me later, kids. Love ya,

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 02:36:01 GMT

I guess people don't read this stuff anyway. I never get comments anymore. Do I have to slaughter a baby to get a reaction from someone? Cuz I will.

Nah. It's not like I have anything interesting to say anyway. Have a swell day, kids.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 11:32:45 GMT

So I was working on a new song, because the mood struck me and I was actually able to get some ideas out. I recorded a verse and chorus for a song I've been playing with for a while. It's called "Born with a Broken Heart" and it's about as depressing as it sounds. Here's the lyrics thus far:

Stuck in the mud
Listening to myself disintegrate
In the face of silent winds
My molecules, they dissipate
And now I disconnect
In retrospect, less than fair
That I was born with a broken heart
The kind that can't be repaired

Am I real at all
Or will I one day fade away?
When I'm gone for good
I wonder what they'll say
Was he real at all?
And did he one day fade away
Now that he's dead and gone
What are we supposed to say?

It's based around a couple of samples (naturally). There's a Postal Service sample and one from Morrissey as well. Also, it opens with a spoken sample from Star Trek that I thought was interestingly appropriate.

I'm quite excited about this one, as I think it's some of my better writing so far. All I need is another couple of verses, maybe a bridge of some sort, and it'll be ready to put online. When it's up, I'll let everyone know. Well, those that actually care, I suppose. :P

The idea for the track came when I was in the midst of a major depressive spell a couple weeks ago. Now that I've snapped out of it, I'm actually able to work with it.

So what's it all about, V? What does it mean?

Well, kids, it's basically about how I've come to the realization that I'm one of those people who is not meant to find true love. I'm not talking familial or platonic love, but romantic. Basically, I've come to the conclusion that the right person, though they may be out there somewhere, is nowhere near me. They're not even part of my universe at the moment, and they likely never will be. It sounds awful, but I assure you it isn't. Coming to terms with that is proving to be a difficult but rewarding experience. See, I think there are people like myself in the world, and there always have been. We cannot find love because we were meant for something bigger. Yeah, I do somewhat believe in the concept of destiny, and I think I'm meant to do something important for the world. The only path to eternal life is being remembered by others, see. That's what I believe, and that's how I've decided to live my life.

So, really, the song isn't all that depressing I suppose.

Forgive my pretentious blathering, kids. V is tired, and when he's tired, he blathers pretentiously. I love you all. Someday, maybe you'll all love me too.

Jesus was a horse thief.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 04:29:19 GMT

Just sent a letter to Senator Mike DeWine. Here it is:

Dear Sen. DeWine:

I am writing to let you know that I am extremely angered by your decision to co-sponsor the Federal Marriage Amendment. As an Ohioan and your constituent, I am demanding that you reevaluate your decision. If you continue down this road, I will not vote for you and will actively campaign for your defeat. And trust me, Mikey, you will be defeated.

That is because your support of the FMA sends a clear message that you do not believe in equal rights for all Americans. It paints our state as a place that despises people who value diversity and equality. It also says that you are all too willing to abandon your gay and lesbian constituents to boost your own reelection campaign. Tell me, Mikey, is our great nation founded on these exclusionary principles you seem to hold so dear? Did all the brave soldiers of the past and present die only for heterosexual rights? How dare you invalidate the sacrifices of those great men and women in such an undignified fashion? You, sir, should be ashamed of yourself.

Ohio's own constitutional amendment banning gay marriage has already hurt many Ohioans and families - and if implemented at the federal level it would devastate many millions more. Do you want your enduring legacy to include writing discrimination into the U.S. Constitution? That's a hell of a way to get your name in the history books, Mikey. Why not introduce a bill to open some concentration camps while you're at it? Maybe they'll even let you personally pull the lever and gas all the gays and lesbians into oblivion. Would you like that, Mikey? Would it make you feel powerful? Would it make you a hero?

Mikey, I am hopeful that in the end, you will come to your senses and learn to understand the people that this legislation would impact the most. There are many strong, proud, and patriotic Ohioans willing to talk with you about why equality under the law is so very important to their life, liberty, and happiness. The question is, just how willing are you to listen?

Sincerely,

V (Of course, I used my real name, not my online nickname :P )

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 09:01:27 GMT

Well, it's been quite a while since I updated, so now's the time!

I've been in the midst of a gradual computer changeover for the last few weeks. I finally got mine back to normal, and that's the one I am now using. I was briefly using my brother's old computer, but now we've fixed mine so all is well in the world. I need to get a better video card and some more RAM, and I'll also be getting a DVD-R drive, and then I should be good for a while. This also means that posting updates here is no longer a pain in the ass, so I'll go out on a limb and tell you to expect them more frequently now.

Now, on to life shit.

Earlier this month they found the body of a friend of mine. He'd been missing for five weeks, so I pretty much expected the worst anyway. That made it marginally easier to deal with, though not much. He was a great guy, so naturally it sucks. But whatcha gonna do, eh? I guess his girlfriend is pregnant with someone else's kid. I only recently found out it wasn't his. I saw my former best friend at the calling hours (she's the one who contacted me to deliver the news) and it was pretty much as awkward as I assumed it would be. She's still uber self-centered, and all this was naturally her tragedy. But enough bitching on my part. Ben, everybody's going to miss you. Take care of yourself out there in the Great Unknown. Maybe I'll see you down the road.

Crazy Dave, Super Evangelist, was fired. Apparently he threw a tantrum over something and started beating the shit out of a cabinet with a hammer, or something like that. So yeah, that means I'll have no more amusing tales to tell you concerning him. End of an era, kids. End of an era.

I purchased The Movies for my PC the other day. Until I get the new video card and more RAM I won't be able to do much with it, but I've got it. That's what really counts, isn't it? I'll let you know when I get my first movie done.

I cut my hair tonight, and I think it looks alright. I did more than the basic buzz this time, so I didn't know how it'd turn out. I actually used two different attachments! Blending and shit! I kept my bangs at their current length because that hairstyle went out about a decade ago. I thought it looked ludicrous on people at the time, but I'll be damned if it doesn't look spiffy on me. I may even colour it somehow, since it would be hidden by my cap at work. No one can complain about what they don't see, am I right? Yeah, I'm all covert and shit. No one gets tha one-up on me, yo.

On the plus side, work finally seems to be settling back into normal routine, though the way this job goes who knows how long that'll last. I'm taking advantage of my free time to play computer games, work on music, and get a little writing done. I dropped out of my online wrestling federation because I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and something had to go. It sucks, but at least I can still hang out at the forums. My GZW peeps are my online family, and I love them all. Big ups, brothers and sister! Peace be the journey.

I've been contemplating dating again, and if I keep having actual free time I just might do it. Not really sure how to go about meeting guys that are worth my time around here, but I'll figure it out. I'm extremely leery of the internet after what happened the last few times, but we'll see. One thing I will not be doing is shelling out money to a dating site. The way I see it, if you'll pay to find a date, that makes you desperate. And if it works and you do find a date, that makes them desperate too. Dual desperation is the equation for frustration. Believe me, I know.

Of course, there are no longer any gay bars nearby, but then I was never much for the bar scene anyway. Maybe I'll just start hanging out at bookstores or something. I dunno. I need to practice flirting. I've never been very good at "the game." I either completely avoid the issue or else I am too blunt and end up scaring them off.

Note to self: buy some social skills or something. That, or steal someone else's.

Anyway, I've been listening to an interesting mix of music lately. I've recently fallen in love with (again) the Twilight Singers. I've also been listening to Kanye West's latest album. I don't usually go for mainstream hip-hop, but there's just something about him that sets him apart from people like 50 Cent, T.I., or those other guys whose names I forget because I don't give a shit about them. I think it's called "talent." Of course, Ayreon is still good for a listen now and then. The new Vendetta Red album is quite nice. I've also been listening to some CDs my mother gave me, including Nanci Griffith, Steve Earle, Fiona Apple's latest, and Van Morrison. All are quite nice.

Movies...I've seen a few good ones lately. Good Night, and Good Luck was a brilliant film, and I give it a very high recommendation. I purchased Capote last week, but haven't gotten around to watching it yet. I'll be buying Brokeback Mountain on Tuesday, and maybe King Kong too. We'll see.

I guess that's about it for now. Take care of yourselves, and remember: EAT THE CRAB CAKE!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 23:42:52 GMT

As seen on Break.com

Which religion is the right one for you?

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 22:38:25 GMT

You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.

Satanism

83%

agnosticism

79%

atheism

67%

Paganism

58%

Buddhism

46%

Hinduism

42%

Islam

38%

Judaism

13%

Christianity

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

Go figure, huh? Works for me though. I pretty much knew what would come of this quiz at the beginning anyway. Shemhamforash, bitches!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 10:42:01 GMT

This...is the end...of an era.

All security officers have been formally forbidden from discussing religion or politics with Crazy Dave. This mandate was handed down after an incident between the aforementioned lunatic and one of my fellow guards. Apparently, Crazy Dave called the guard house from the foreman's phone and proceeded to question the guard about some point he had brought up earlier that evening. I don't remember what the exact line of questioning was, or else I'd share it. Anyway, he proceeded to get smug and condescending, (rightfully) offending my fellow officer, who proceeded to ask him why he was calling the guard shack. See, he thought it was the foreman calling and chewing him out about something, which of course he'd have no idea what that would possibly have been. Anyway, I guess it degenerated into something a bit uglier than a normal conversation, and thus...the mandate.

On the one hand, it's a bit of a relief to not have to be constantly on the alert as I walk around the building, waiting for him to pop out from a hiding place behind a machine or a pile of boxes. I won't have to worry about him calling my name halfway across the shop anymore. I certainly need not fear getting cornered as he blocks the back door to drill me on C.S. Lewis and Immanuel Kant.

But I'll miss these days, you know?

I think the best part of the new rule, though, is the wounded expression on his face every time he catches a glimpse of me. It's like, I can just tell that he's thinking about how he was this>
I kinda feel bad for him, oddly enough. When he's not preaching, the only thing he can seem to talk about is the weather or how he's learning to be a plumber. Basically, his religion is the only thing that makes him amusing or vaguely interesting. What really sucks, though, is that with about six more months, I think I could have gotten him to join the Church of Satan. Ah well...you win some, you lose some, am I right, people?

Anywho, on to other things.

Last night my mother and I went to see Brokeback Mountain. Wow! That is truly a wonderful movie! It was a classic, heartbreaking story of unrequited love, set against the gorgeous backdrop of the mountain that gives the movie its title. Very well done. And who knew Heath Ledger could act? I'm amazed! Everyone needs to go see this movie. Well, anyone with an interest in real cinema, real art...not Vin Diesel and American Pie, know what I mean?

I've also purchased the DVD "Rent." Now, I've heard portions of the soundtrack before, but I really knew next to nothing about this Broadway musical-turned-cinematic blockbuster. (Was it a blockbuster? I don't know how much cash it pulled at the box office.) Anyway, it's pretty long, but I was expecting that. The music...meh. It has moments of creamy goodness, most notably "Seasons of Love," which, fuck the naysayers, is a damn good song. It was a decent film, better than some reviews I've read would lead one to believe. If you're into musicals and are ready to have a few laughs and shed a few tears, this may be up your alley.

Now, on to music. I made four CD purchases last night, so I'll give my impressions on them now that I've listened to them all.

1. HIM - Dark Light

You know how some people say "you've heard one song by you've heard them all?" Well, they usually mean that as an insult to said artist. However, when I say that about HIM, I mean it in the ebst way possible. I'll be honest...I adore this band, and Ville Valo could carry me off to hell on his pale horse without a fight on my part. It's a satisfying chunk of love metal from beginning to end. If you like HIM, you'll like the new album. 'Nuff said.

2. deftones - B-Sides & Rarities

I've loved deftones' non-album stuff for ages, as I think it's where they allowed themselves to get a little more adventurous than the mainstream would otherwise allow. How these guys got lumped into the nu-metal mistake I'll never know. They're so much better than that. The best part about this collection? It also comes with a DVD containing ALL of their videos! Plus, it's about time they got around to putting their version of Sade's "No Ordinary Love" on an album. I think I've downloaded it probably twenty times over the years. If you've had doubts about deftones in the past (not sure how you could, though) it might be worth giving this collection a shot. It's fabulicious!

3. Vendetta Red - Sisters of the Red Death

What is it with all these bands putting out such unexpectedly mature albums lately? I think Blink-182 started it with their self-titled masterpiece. Let's hope Vendetta Red doesn't follow in those footsteps and go on hiatus, because this album is phenomenal! I'll admit that it was a whim that made me purchase it. I'd always had an appreciation for VR's work, but they never really excited me. They were pleasant when I was in the mood, but that was about it. After hearing this (concept?) album, I am now officially interested, and excited to hear what's next from this band who is finally coming into their own.

4. V/A - This is Americana 2

A twenty song collection of "Americana" music. If you don't know what that is, just think of it as non-commercial, mostly non-Nashville alt-country. I haven't listened to all of this one yet, but at $1.99 I couldn't turn this down. Besides, they didn't have the new Rosanne Cash album, which I was wanting. Maybe it's not been released yet? I need to get up to speed on these things. Anyway, if you're into this type of music and see this comp at a store somewhere, drop a couple of dollars on it. You'll likely be pleased with the purchase. Besides, it's got Clem Snide and John Doe on it, so it's worth a couple of bucks just for those songs.

Let's see then...that may be all I have to discuss for the moment. Yep, I think it is. Until next time then, faithful reader...or readers? Can I use the plural? Does anyone read this anymore? I mean people I don't tell to read it.

Any xians thinking of leaving heartfelt implorations from god...go ahead. Just remember this...I masturbate to your pics. A lot.

Everyone else, have a swell day, and remember:

Love is like candy. You get fat, and suddenly it's gone.

V

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 08:34:34 GMT

Time for an update! I actually have stuff to talk about tonight/today, so maybe you'll find this interesting, faithful reader.

First, I finished the god-awful (pun intended) book that the resident evangelist at work insisted I read. I even read some parts twice, if only to try to wrap my head around how ridiculous the whole endeavour was. I returned it to him a few days ago.

Now, I may have mentioned that it had been something like two months since he'd actively tried to convert me. Well, upon his receipt of the book, his efforts began anew, and with renewed fervor. The first night, he simply cornered me and asked my opinion on the book, to which my honest reply was that I hated it. He wondered if perhaps I disliked it so much because of the "truth" contained within its wasted pages. Of course not. I hated it because it was increasingly smug and illogical and, frankly, it gave me a headache every time I tried to read more than a chapter a night. So then he proceeded to harangue me for a good fifteen minutes, and I mean full-on "hellfire and brimstone" schtick. I guess he figured that when "logic" failed, fear would be a winning approach. Bubble's burst, kiddies...I'm not afraid of a lot of things, much less imaginary Bonfires of Death!

So, the next night, he apparently decided a different approach was needed. I'll call this one the "Getting to Know You" tactic. See, I made the mistake early in the conversation of saying that at one time I had considered going to college to become a pastor (sadly, that's true...I was naive). He took that as an encouraging admission, though my only intent was to discourage him from continuing to talk down to me like I was a fool for not agreeing with everything he had to say. Anyway, he deduced that I obviously must have been offended or otherwise hurt by the church I had attended. For once, he actually got something right. He asked why I left, and I fed him some shit about being discouraged from questioning the religion or the church. Now, that was indeed part of the situation...perhaps 5% of it. The rest was not, is not, and will not ever be any of his business (because I have to work at this place surrounded by unfriendly and vindictive types aka cowardice, I'm afraid). I'm going to lay it all out here and now though, one time only, for my internet friends and the woefully lost religious folk who mistakenly wander my way. (You know who you are, you pathetic little ragamuffins.)

That summer, I ended up coming out of the closet to my best friend, Robb. I had to tell somebody because I was verging on suicidal, and for whatever reason I thought he'd be the most likely to understand. Needless to say, I misjudged the situation, and he ran as fast as he could to tell the pastor and the youth pastor at church. He then relayed the message to me that I had two options: get counseling from them to change my orientation, or stop coming to church. Guess which one I chose? I guess I've always been a bit stubborn, but I was genuinely pissed and hurt. Oh, and Robb only called me two or three times in the next five months or so. He's over his issues now (I think...it's hard to tell sometimes) and we're on good terms again.

Anyway, I figured that if I couldn't go back to the church, I may as well do my own independent studies in the realm of my then-religion. Long story short, the information I found led me to my current belief system and subsequent hatred of all things xian.

The devout amongst you will claim this as your "aha!" moment, but you people can go fuck yourselves, because it doesn't tell you jack shit about me. Seriously, if you think you've got me figured out and now you feel the need to offer your inane psychobabble bullshit commentary on this post, knock yourselves out. If you really want to get on my good side though, I'd recommend oral sex. That's always a winner.

Anyway, back to Crazy Dave, Super-Evangelist. He was edging into territory that, being the observant and empathetic person I am, I knew he wouldn't want to explore. According to his logic/belief system, I've already got my spot in heaven reserved anyway, so I figure why bother, right? Well, now he just thinks I'm a lapsed xian whose mind has been befuddled by the big red baddie himself, SATAN-atan-atan-atan-atan...! Poor him.

I spent the next night avoiding him because I had a headache and was in an uncharacteristically foul mood. It was for his own good as well as my own. I even made a little game out of it to amuse myself. I used my ninja stealth skills to creep all ninjalike and stealthful around the factory. I do believe he may have been the only person in the building that night who never caught so much as a glimpse of me. I was quite proud of myself. Apparently the guard who relieved me may have mentioned this to him, though. I was told that he had told him something, but not what. I'll have to get that information directly from the source. I do know that the next night Crazy Dave pretty much ignored me. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing remains to be seen. I'm not trying to be the most hated man at work...but it seems it's my destiny. Then again, I'm probably overreacting. I'll keep everyone updated on what happens with this situation, as I find it endlessly amusing.

Anyway, on to tonight! I went to see the incomparable Sigur Ros LIVE IN CONCERT!!!!!!11!!!

I took my mother, as she is pretty much the only other person in my life with an appreciation for that sort of music. As they are my favourite band ever in the history of sound, it was a big night for me. I've never seen them live before, and they truly did not disappoint me.

We arrived early to the venue so we could get a good spot up front (it was general admission, standing room only). It was about twenty degrees outside, with a windchill of, I estimate, somewhere around five to seven degrees, and that's Fahrenheit for my non-American friends around the world. In other words...IT WAS FUCKING COLD! Naturally, this meant we had to stand in line OUTSIDE for an hour and a half, part of which was spent watching the pre-sale, elitist fucks gain entry before the rest of us. My poor mother couldn't feel her toes, and my own feet were getting incredibly sore from standing for so long. See, I have bad feet, and I can't stand or walk for long periods of time.

Anyway, they finally let us in and we immediately head directly to the stage, getting about ten feet away. Then...we stand around for an hour. Waiting. For something, anything, to happen. Finally, the opening act, Amina, comes out to play a few songs for us. They were four lovely ladies, presumably Icelandic, who played about five instrumental songs for our listening pleasure. They were a lot of fun, and their closing song was particularly lively with its near-cheesy electro beat, which was a nice change of pace after the more sedate offerings that came before it.

Then, another twenty or thirty minutes of waiting while Sigur Ros got their gear set up. By the time they took the stage, we had been standing, non-stop, for about 3.5 hours. As soon as the first notes were sounded, though, I forgot all about the excruciating pain I was in. Kids, a Sigur Ros concert is my idea of church. It was more than a concert...it was an experience. Truly, their recordings DO NOT capture the power and majesty of their live performance. There were times during the crescendoes when the sound would literally wash over your entire body with cleansing waves of pleasure. It was THE DEFINITION of eargasm. I was in a state of bliss heretofore unmatched in my entire existence. We left a bit early, alas, as both my mother and I were in a fair amount of pain. We didn't expect to be standing for so long, but all the pain, the cold, the time...it was well worth the experience, which I will treasure for the rest of my days. If we don't suffer, after all, then what's the value of such pleasure? If you ever get the chance to see Sigur Ros live, do it. You will not regret it, I promise.

That pretty much sums things up for now. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go masturbate to Song of Solomon now. Have a pleasant existence for the duration of our time apart, fellow travellers!

V